Can i be that lover or can i be loved?
That would be my questions when a saw a sweet couple in front of me. Seeing them being sweet in front of me and i am wondering is every couple like that or it was just my feeling? That chessy feeling of mine and sometimes they can be that sweet to each other and ignored the people around them. Sometimes, there would be a shocking news saying that they had broke up. What is that? Should it be like this?
Do you ever fall in love? Do you ever being in love before? What is the feeling that you have when you fall in love and in love with someone? Is he or she the crush that you had before the both of you started to be in love? Or maybe you are still single?
Ti is alright. Because i am too and i do not really know what is love. And i really wonder what is love anyways? Sometimes, i am wondering why am i never getting one to be my lover? Am i not beautiful or am i really that ugly that no one want to be with me? Or it is my personality that people dislikes? Some people and including my friends said that i played hard to get. Hmmm...am I? Then, is that the problems? I guess so. And i wonders too, am i really that played hard to get?
When i doing some quizzes to know my personality and how people think of me, most of the answers said that i am played hard to get. But, actually that is one of my charms and the quizzes also stated that i have a lot of sense of humors. Well, i hope that is true and i end up being funny and people will laugh at me when i do not know what i had done that they would laugh. But, i am happy to know that i can make someone smile and i really hope that someone would smile too, when i am doing the same things.
Being a teenager, when i was in my 10’s, i can admit that i never build any special relationships. Just me, myself and friends. Sometimes, i get jealous when i saw my friends with their lover and i will always wondering if i will ever get one? Until now, i still can’t find it. Nevertheless, i enjoyed my every moments. I think that i am a philophobia but a philophobia is someone that is afraid to love someone again after they had been broken-hearted. Could i be that phobia due to afraid of love and being love? Well, i do not know what is is. Because i still could not figure it out. Should i be in love or being loved? Am i becoming a phobia after seeing lovers in front of me?
I wishes i am not that phobia. I think i am just holding myself from falling in love. I even let go of my first love that will never know me. And now he is with someone better than me. I wish that they can be together forever.
I think i am just being filial to myself and to my parent too. I would not blame them. Never. I will obey them and sometimes i think i should just disobeyed them. But it is never a good thing for me. I’ve did it once and i cannot repeat it again when disobeyed my parent. I try to follow my heart that want to go with my love one and the end result was no so good. Really. And i don’t want to do that again. Maybe, if i am passion and i need to do the right thing for myself, i will. Now, i am trying to obey them and at the same time, do what my heart wants the most and to think on everything i did logically. I can still be rationale and logical at the same time being the crazy and funny me.
That is me. Ever wonder to be in love or being loved? Never worry and just live the way you are. Be yourself and love yourself first before you love others.
LOVE OR BEING LOVED?
THINK IT.…
No comments:
Post a Comment